Tuesday, July 30, 2013

WEEK 9 - The Bachelorette 2013 (Desiree)

Monday July 29th was fantasy suite week where Des gets to spend the night with each dude without the camera crew.  Unfortunately, the ending was heartbreaking to watch and I have now lost all hope for Des having a happy vagina.

Dude #1: Drew - While in Antiqua, wherever the hell that is, the couple attended some outdoor festival with the scary natives that if it weren't for the cameras, would probably have raped both Drew and Des, repeatedly.  

Des read Drew the fantasy suite card and Drew accepts, because he is heterosexual.  

Dude #2: Chris - Des takes Chris in a helicopter flying over... I have no idea.  I couldn't stop looking at her cleavage.  



Even though Chris is secretly gay, he accepted the fantasy suite to fool the audience.  He gives away his sexual preference though, once he starts reading his latest poem to Des.

While Des gets ready for her date with Brooks, she expresses how if Brooks proposed to her today, she'd yes in a heartbeat.  Brooks is clearly the frontrunner.  And Des is clearly hot as fuck.




Unfortunately, Books talked to Chris Harrison and worked out what he was feeling.  He wants to see Des as soon as possible.  Before that, Brooks even took a trip back home to talk to his mom and sister about how he's feeling.

Brooks telling Desiree that he isn't in love with her and that he's leaving was one of the most excruciating breakups to ever air on television and now I could care less who wins.

Does anyone even care who wins at this point?  Des was obviously going to pick Brooks from the beginning and now that he's gone, if she does choose someone, it'll just be second best.  Drew somehow almost made it to the age of 30 by never loving anyone.  That just screams trouble.  And Chris is an angry closet homosexual who will end up meeting some guy at a poetry slam 5 years from now. 


Who's left
Drew, retarded sister
Chris, closet homosexual

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