WEEK 7 - The Bachelorette 2013 (Desiree)

Desiree takes the dudes to Portugal in the episode which aired on ABC the night of July 8th and we actually get some honest answers about how she's feeling.

The show begins with Des meeting up with 3 of the wet slits from Sean's season, Fuck-Me-Eyes Jackie, Lesley, and Catherine the disgusting who was looking just as gross as ever.  They asked questions about the guys and we learned that Des thinks Drew is the best kisser and has the best body which I'm sure comes into play with her decision.  Catherine the disgusting kept asking questions and every time she laughed I fantasized about what I would do if she were my girlfriend... which consisted of continually punching her in the face.  

Date #1: Brooks - In Portugal, Des takes Brooks to some mountain or some shit above the clouds.  They discuss what life would be like together after the show and Des tells the camera that she's falling in love.  Brooks is still the shit and I believe I called him being a front runner from the beginning.

Date #2: Chris - Oh holy shit.  While having a picnic near the Atlantic or some shit, Chris gets out a bottle and paper and suggests that the two of them write a poem together and throw it out to sea.  I hope to god Des gets rid of Chris soon.  He was a prick to James for no reason and let's not forget when he volunteered to wear high heels.  Then at dinner, he tells Des he loves her through another shitty poem that had the worst cadence ever.

Date #3: Michael - Michael is just as much of a piece of shit as Chris is but I think I hate Michael the most.  He threw Ben under the bus AND James and just got in unnecessary fights with the guys.  He's just a slimy douche.  Anyway, they take a toboggan down some street or some shit and we have to listen to Michael talk about his connection with Des that no one cares about because he sucks.  

Two-On-One Date with Shirtless Zak and Drew

While on some go-kart track, we get to watch Desiree's tittles flop in the wind.  Zak shared his love with painting recounting their journey together thus far.  Drew also expressed how he's never felt the way he feels about her with another.  

After a little one-on-one time with each guy, she ended up giving Drew the rose which was the only rose for this week.

Before the rose ceremony:

Des flat out admits to Chris Harrison that she is in love with Brooks and falling for Chris.  I believe Desiree is the first in Bachelor Nation to say that they love someone before the proposal!

Des hands roses to everyone but Michael the piece of shit!  I'm not gonna lie.  I cheered when she called the last name.  And by the way, who the hell thought Shirtless Zak would make it this far???  Goofy looking bastard.  When  Michael leaves in the limo, he calls his mom and asks why this keeps happening to him.  Oh I don't know Michael, maybe because you have to call your mommy when things don't go your way you fucking pansy.  

Next week are the hometown dates and we get to see Desiree's worthless brother again!

Sent home: Michael (piece of shit)

Who's Left?