WEEK 8 - The Bachelor 2013 (Sean)

Sean brings his remaining three chicks to Sikao, Thailand in hopes that they will all say yes to the overnight fantasy suite card so that he can "talk" to them without cameras.  

Date #1: Lindsay, sleeps naked

Once again Sean puts his date in danger by taking her to a shitty food market where the locals get their produce.  All I remember seeing was fried insects and... well it all pretty much looked like garbage.  People go there to buy garbage apparently.  The people running the stands were disappointed that the cameras were on because they would have gladly raped and impregnated the pretty American girl, locked her up in their basement and videotaped the birth in hopes to fulfill their dreams of making newborn porn.  Is it obvious that I'm not a fan of traveling?  Later on the beach we get to see Lindsay's perfect, tan, 24 year old body in a bikini.  I think they were feeding monkeys, swimming and eating dinner while some Thailanders danced but who the hell knows.  I was busy masturbating.  Sean mentioned multiple times that she was his best friend, which could turn out to be extremely awkward if he doesn't pick her in the end.  Lindsay said yes to the fantasy suite card and made sure to tell Sean that she loves him which at this point in the game, is a crucial move.  I wonder if she slept naked...

Date #2: AshLee, with two capital letters in her name

Sean tests AshLee's trust issues by making her swim through a cave in order to get to their private beach.  It honestly sounds like Sean has more control issues than AshLee has trust issues.  Either way, we get to see AshLee in a bikini and I have to say, I never noticed her body in previous episodes and it was fantastic.  I mean her breasts are just distracting.  Sean explains how he wants his wife to be able to trust him in certain situations.  Well what if AshLee is looking for a husband that would never put her in harm's way?  Stupid move on Sean's part if you ask me but after all, this is a TV show and they need drama whether fabricated or not.  They continue on this journey together through the cave not knowing if they're going the right way... not knowing if they will ever make it.  And that's how life is sometimes.  And in the middle of this meaningful metaphor I'm wondering, will they get a chance to shower later or will their genitals smell and taste like dirty cave water all day?  Maybe their genitals will be fresher because of it.  Who knows.  I don't travel.  AshLee said yes to the fantasy suite after making sure that no funny business will be going on.  Sean said they are on the same page... right.  Sean would have to be completely gay to not want to see those fun bags again. 

Date #3: Catherine the disgusting

While sailing around on some big boat or some shit, there was a scene where Catherine was explaining to Sean that she has a serious side and isn't goofy 100% of the time.  In this moment, Catherine actually looked attractive.  I started questioning how harsh I've been towards her.  After accepting the fantasy suite card, Catherine explained how she used to be picked on about overeating and other things and I actually began to feel bad about making fun of her.  But then they showed her smiling and giggling and I was once again consumed with thoughts of peeling the flesh off of live baby kittens with a potato peeler so that I'd have a more pleasant visual in my head than her dopey face.  It's now obvious that it's her happiness that makes her unattractive.   

Rose Ceremony:

The next morning, Sean has some clarity about who's going home. He's got strong feelings for the woman he's chosen and he knows she cares about him as well, but too bad. Sean sits down with Chris to discuss how this week was toughest for him last season with Emily on The Bachelorette. He knows this is a really hurtful period, but there's nothing he can really do about it.

Sean tells the women that they all mean a lot to him and that his decision was a hard one before handing out the first rose, which goes to Lindsay... probably because she slept naked. There's only one left, and it goes to Catherine, meaning AshLee is out... probably because she didn't sleep with Sean at all.  She looks absolutely furious. Sean goes to walk her out as she marches off without saying goodbye.

Who’s Left:

1. Catherine the disgusting
2. Lindsay, sleeps naked

Sent Home:

1. AshLee

Next week is The Women Tell All which should be fantastic because we get to watch everyone rag on Tierra.  And in two weeks we have the last episode along with After The Final Rose.