WEEK 7 - The Bachelorette 2012 (Emily)

Date #1: Arie

Walking around Prague.  We didn’t have to wait long to hear about Arie’s “relationship” with a producer. Right from the get-go we learn that it was very brief and was many years ago.  Off camera, Arie told Emily that it was so brief he never even thought about it.  Emily calms down after the conversation.  Later at dinner on some boat or some shit, Arie tells Emily he loves her.  Emily looked so happy that she was probably picturing Arie going down on her in the limo on the way to their honeymoon and wiping her vaginal secretion off his face. 

  

Date #2: John 

Some boat or something, and more walking.  They ran into the John Lennon wall and Emily talks about how putting a lock on the gate is good luck.  John can’t figure out how to lock it and Emily expressed that John trying to lock their lock, reminds her of their relationship.  They haven’t been able to really connect.  At dinner, John talks about having his heart broken and that’s why he takes things slowly.

  

Sean sneaks out!

Sean searches the streets for Emily.  Probably went two blocks or something.  He basically wanted to get some.  They don’t talk much.  Too busy making out.  And again, Emily is thrown against a wall in the heat of passion.  Emily's back must have more scars than Kunta Kinte!

  

Group Date: Sean, Doug, and Chris

Horse drawn carriage to some castle or some shit.  Emily takes Doug aside and tells him that he’s moving too slowly.  He kisses her and feels stupid shortly afterward because he read her signals the wrong way.  Emily sent him home.  Without going up against any of the other guys, Doug would be great.  But compared to everyone else, he’s too boring and too slow.  No shock that he’s gone.  Back to the date with Sean and Chris, they have to open some dungeon-looking room to spend one-on-one time with Emily.  I’m imagining this is normally called the rape room and I like to believe Emily was bent over a rock and slammed hard from behind. Just wasn’t on camera.  On camera however, Sean makes out with her again.  Chris is paranoid and complains about not having a one-on-one. Somehow Emily kisses him.  I have no idea why.  Chris is the new douche.  With no surprise, Sean gets the rose.  Chris, the douche, starts spouting off crap like, “If I don’t get a hometown date, I’ll be scared for anyone around me.”

Date #3: Jef

Walking around, and shop in a marionette shop… which is creepy as hell.  Leaving the shop, Jef runs back in to buy a marionette for Emily’s daughter.  They put on a puppet show of their relationship thus far, which was lame as hell but it showed that they have fun together.  Through the marionettes, Jef tells Emily he loves her… and suggests they get a dog.  Emily agrees but would rather get a cat.  SEE!  I’m telling you, Jef kicks ass!  They naturally make-out.  Jef talks about what it would be like on their hometown date and expresses how he thinks they think alike and both want to be two parents crazy in love.  They lay on the floor of a library and enjoy small talk about moving in before or after marriage, how soon to have kids, and more.  Jef asks all the important hard hitting questions that everyone should talk about before marriage.  SEE! He's smart like that!  While laying on the floor, you can barely hear Jef talking but he says, “I’m completely head over heels for you.  I want to date you so hard and marry the fuck out of you.”  Emily starts cracking up.  God dammit, Jef’s just the best.

  

Before the Rose Ceremony

Chris, the douche,  freaks out thinking he handled things poorly on the group date.  I think the guys know he’s the one going home.  Emily tells Chris Harrison that she has her mind made up and wants to skip the cocktail party. 

  

During the rose ceremony

With one rose left to be given to either John or Chris, the douce, Chris asks Emily if they can talk.  He tries to convince Emily that he’s the one for her.  They walk back in and Emily chooses... CHRIS???  What the hell?!  Ugh, he is such a douche!  Emily walks John out and explains that the other relationships have progressed faster than theirs.  Probably true, but I would have thrown both John AND Chris right the hell out of there.

  

Who's left?

1. Jeff
2. Arie
3. Sean – safe from group date
4. Chris, the douche

Voted off: 

Doug – sent home on group date

John – sent home from rose ceremony

  

Predictions:

They will be voted off in this order: Chris, the douce, then Sean, and between Jef and Arie, she'll pick Arie.  Jef is better for her, but I think she'll do the wrong thing and pick Arie.